Excerpts from ‘Love and Sorrows: An endless journey’

Her passion for me was aggression for others…
She somehow called her brother to meet me.
And of course he was convinced,
So he decided to help us.
With his help and with some of my efforts finally her dad agreed to meet my dad.
They met like strangers and talked nonsense, but while her dad sensing the situation agreed for the marriage, mine could not approve the same owing to the objection mom had.

Dad then declared that this cannot go any further.
Her dad took her back to Lucknow.
But she ran away from there and stayed in a PG.
This I came to know later.
Very soon her dad found another bridegroom for her and they forced her to commit to.
But she called me and while we were talking she attempted suicide.
I kept yelling on the other side of the phone.
Helpless.
I had to call her brother and tell him.
They ran her to a hospital.
Just after 4 days she ran again.
This time gone for 3 months.
She had to leave her lucrative job,
Had to sacrifice her career.
Mutilated her health and beauty.
Ruined her peace…For what? Just for her love…

<~>
11

I could not measure up to her
She said once…
” I have realized Sanjeev, after all this mess of my life… That it was not you or me… It is not about us…
…if someone else would have been in your place I would have loved him the same way…
And similarly if someone else would be in my place you would have been the same way…
It’s all love…”
“.. Its only love…That we do…Above and beyond everything….”
Of course I realized… I was no match for her.
One of the things about her was that, more she passed through the stresses, calmer she used to react. I never have heard her shouting or yelling; or even speaking in high note.
Probably all she did was loud enough to make everyone understand.

Now she doesn’t work.
Now she is not married.
And do not want to marry anyone.
I asked her, “Why? Why not move on?”
And she replied, ” Where to move on Sanjeev? I have already attained what I wanted. I wanted to Love you… And can you complain that no Anu, you have not…
I have lived my whole life…Just by loving you… Now I am complete… I’m contented… I have tested my boundaries…
..And now I know that no one can love you more than me.”

<~>
11

I can’t stop talking to her…
Not because of some left desires;
But for the fact that, it would be an insult for what she is…
If you say we have loved each other more than anyone else…
Than I would say we have not… Not yet…
I am way less than what she has achieved.
She lives in her parents’ home; does nothing but writes.
Writes about her memories with me.
With life.
I met her mom few months back,
We ran into each other at a concert; I could not utter a single word! Everything from past just flashed through my head.
To my surprise, she put her hand on my shoulders and said, “She will be happy if I told her I met you Sanjeev”, and left.

Have faith in what you do;
you wouldn’t need to say it.
Everyone will know. Without saying.

“Are we still talking?”
‘Yup’, she whispered.

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4 comments

  1. it maked me cry…though I havent faced such situation yet but I was touched at the way the story was narrated and the phrases and verses you used….it always makes me admire you

    Liked by 1 person

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