Stepping out

What do we see outside of us when we step out and look? I am sorry if looking outside of self and stepping-out confuses you, most of us call it introspection, retrospection, contemplation or looking at the bigger picture. It is when we put our thinking-pajamas on – some of us, literally do.

As for myself, I have not more than a pair of jeans, two formal outfits together with half a dozen tees and one suit that goes without complaining with about another half a dozen ties. The small cramped wardrobe and rather contrary – ‘wanting to accommodate’ pocket make no good couple that can contribute towards procurement of a silk pajama.
Nevertheless, I don’t want to digress from the point, I did step out of me and tried to see (read Observe) the life I was living.

I saw chaos.

All types of disturbance, unrest, people trying to tie knots they know may not last. Mobs pushing men ahead, and some aside, and locomotives running in all directions trying to win an undeclared race. Whether or not I wanted this life, it is mine now. The moment I stepped into that street, I knew I had to run fast or step aside. I have been doing latter for most of the times. Actually there are very rare incidents when I did run, of course not fast enough, and was set aside eventually.
That can never be good for someone trying to reach out for nothing less than moon, right? I know you’d have figured it out by now – I am at the very bottom of the food chain and not in a situation to pause and catch breath. But ironically that’s when I decided to take a step backward and see, or should I say observe, what actually was going on there – of what I was a part a moment earlier. I saw myself running, trying to keep up. Everything rushing through my head, catching only some portion of everything what was important and than pass on to the next. Heart felt suppressed, probably trying to keep up and tell it is still there. Its function has been reduced to that of any other organ – to do the bare minimum in order to facilitate a functional body except for a fear of getting behind or loosing what is even not-mine-yet still added to its auxiliary functions which ironically was driving all types of functions – my perceptions, my vision, my decisions and even my timings to go to the loo! This fear had eventually, or may be spontaneously – can’t tell, caught up to me and affected my mind a great deal which in turn affected my performance! What! The very thing I am trying hard to keep up with! So I decided to step out. I stepped out of the chaos, the mob and the clock. I saw my fear diminishing and going away and I could breathe again, feel my heart and my vision that was blurry earlier came back crystal.

It is when I did step out of the crowd, I realized I have reached nowhere. I was still standing in a corner, stepped aside and crowd was running past. A could hear honking, chatter, shouting, solicitations, peoples’ footsteps, hawkers calling out in rhythm, people remarking others, snorts and scoffs, coughs and sneezes, blowing wind and creaking twigs, and also people casting glances at me and those looking directly and passing swiftly as they found their way and distant look in my eyes.

By stepping out I was able to control things around me because I was not a part of the rush anymore. I was observing it. It gave me a new outlook and I was able to change my behavior and response to people and situations. May be its time you also step out, observe yourself and make some changes to take control of things around you and set on a rather enjoyable journey for when we understand things around us we can not be afraid anymore and can bask in the novelty of whatever comes our way and live everyday.

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